A seed

How does something so small, grow into something so unbelievably big.... my words fail me. The day the 'seed' was fertilized I didnt just grow a baby, I grew a love that brings tears to my eyes at the very thought of it. A friend recently told me how much being a mummy suits me and I told her back that everyday I think I couldn't possibly feel anymore love, until I just do.

It's 14 months since we bought those peter rabbit books, our first gift to you. We were clinging on to every piece of hope we could muster up that it would work. That you would keep growing! We read those stories to you everynight for 10 days....10 days of not knowing wether or not we were talking to an empty womb or one that now homed our growing baby. But even then the seed had been planted and the love was building.

Over the nine months an attachment, a love to you, became greater by the day and then you were born. We held you in our arms and we stared at you in complete disbelieve that you were here. But not just that you were here but that you were ours!

Over the following weeks I spent so many nights awake watching you sleep, listening to you take every tiny breath. Then you got bigger, you noticed us, you knew we were your mummy and daddy. You followed our voices. Then the smiles came and you would smile at us, then giggle.

Now you look at me, you hold your arms out to me, you look for me, but the thing that pulls at me the most is you cuddle into me. Squeezing your little hands around my neck you hold tightly and cuddle it, pulling away to see my face and then back in again.

That love, it grows by the second. I never could imagine this feeling before, its like nothing I have experienced and I cannot believe I am lucky enough to be allowed to have this.