when i was really young, (maybe 9 or 10) i set myself a 15 year plan. i would finish school, go to college, go to uni, get myself a career and at some point within all that i would fall in love. but more specifically, i said i wanted to be married when i was 24 and have a baby when i was 25. don't ask me why i chose these ages but i did. everyone thought i was mad when in my late teens i dreamt of getting married, settling down and having children; whilst my friends hadn't even planned further past their Wednesday night out at the nearest student club.
but i stuck to my dream and my life plans and finished college, met my now husband, went to university and now have a job i absolutely love. from the outside it probably looks like i got everything i wanted, and i guess i did. but it wasn't easy. i struggled with depression all the way through my teens and even now i have my bad days.
in September i got married, i was 24. when my fiance had told me i had to wait another year to get married, i acted like the spoilt brat i sometimes can be until he agreed we could do it this year. never did i tell him i had 'milestones' to meet lol. so, i did it. i met my penultimate goal.
today i turn 25. my final goal still needing to be met. i want to be a mummy. i haven't had an easy ride, but I've always fought for what i want! i don't expect the next year to be any easier then the last 15. but i have got through some really dark and difficult times and i know that deep down i have the strength to get through this too. I'm pretty sure the tears i have had so far will not be my last, and I'm certain that my strength and courage will feel minimal on occasion. but i will do it, and if i don't meet my goal and i turn 26 and I'm still not a mummy.... i WILL keep going. one day i WILL be a mummy, whether I'm 25, 26, 27, 28, 29..............................
but i stuck to my dream and my life plans and finished college, met my now husband, went to university and now have a job i absolutely love. from the outside it probably looks like i got everything i wanted, and i guess i did. but it wasn't easy. i struggled with depression all the way through my teens and even now i have my bad days.
in September i got married, i was 24. when my fiance had told me i had to wait another year to get married, i acted like the spoilt brat i sometimes can be until he agreed we could do it this year. never did i tell him i had 'milestones' to meet lol. so, i did it. i met my penultimate goal.
today i turn 25. my final goal still needing to be met. i want to be a mummy. i haven't had an easy ride, but I've always fought for what i want! i don't expect the next year to be any easier then the last 15. but i have got through some really dark and difficult times and i know that deep down i have the strength to get through this too. I'm pretty sure the tears i have had so far will not be my last, and I'm certain that my strength and courage will feel minimal on occasion. but i will do it, and if i don't meet my goal and i turn 26 and I'm still not a mummy.... i WILL keep going. one day i WILL be a mummy, whether I'm 25, 26, 27, 28, 29..............................
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