recap of journey so far - 21/02/2011

well as my injecting comes to an end for this cycle, i thought i'd do a quick re-cap of my journey so far.
6 months after your first appointment with the fertility specialist, i started down regging. i left the clinic feeling very proud of myself after i injected my tummy all by myself and for the next 3 weeks i continued to do them with no problems at all. my down regging scan showed i as all ready to start stims which i started on 11th feb with the expectation of ec being on the 25th.

by the 15th i bad a lot of pain and called the clinic who gave me an early scan n 16th - i had 13 follies all were growing nicely - pain most likely caused by my ever so sensitive right ovary

so second scan on 18th showed the 13 follies still there but only 9 had continued to grow - still a very good number and was hoping to have ec brought forward to 23rd.

third and final scan today - i now have 17 follies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 15 of which they think they should be able to use and egg collection is now booked for wednesday at 10.15am!!!!!!!!!!!!

everything seems really strange now. i cant describe my emotions - i feel anxious but mostly numb. i didnt sleep a wink last night and all i keep thinking was in 1 week my embie(s) will be back with me and then im just waiting.,...waiting.....and waiting a bit more.......

i guess im scared now, ive managed most of the way through this to feel positive about it working but now i guess the reality is hitting home that it might not and then i'll have to start over.

everyone around me keeps saying ive done so well - but i feel like they all expected me to crumble under the pressure of the whole experience and instead i feel like ive found strength i didnt know i had. dont get me wrong - ive had my meltdowns, but i expected them to be a daily occurrence and they havent been.
i know i still have a long way to go and its not over yet, but that long flow chart i was given by the clinic is now almost redundant - i'm at the bottom and then ive got to just sit tight, read my lovely peter rabbit books to our embie and just hope with all the hope we can find that it wants to stick around with us. we're not perfect but there is one thing for sure, we will love this baby more then anything in the world. we promise to do our very bestest at being a mummy and daddy.

so ec on wedneday then et on friday, saturday or monday depending on how they get on. fc for the next weeks adventures
xxx