i have taken a mini break from the ivf rollercoaster and have hopped onto the ivf boat. rather then lots of big dips up and down I'm treading the rocky waters until something very small happens and then i feel like I'm about to capsize.....ok so less of the metaphors.
my period started on the 30th december and i had to start the pill the following day (bearing in mind i've never really got on with the pill and shouldn't even really tale it due to my migraines
)
i had to then call the clinic when they opened on the 4th after xmas. i rang expecting to be told when my appointment would be to go in for my injector pack and my mock embryo transfer, instead i was told i'd receive my appointment in the post. well it finally arrived yesterday and we have our down regging appointment on 20th and first scan on the 4th.
well anyways aside from my boobs now bulging over my bra
, lovely side effect of the pill, i feel like i may burst in to tears at each and every second of the day. i feel sooooooo on edge all the time, and the smallest thing can tip me over the edge. went to asda the other night and saw the baby section of clothes, i had to turn straight away otherwise i would have blubbed everywhere.
and then i suppose the last thing i needed was my labour dream. ive dreamt so many times about being pregnant but never about actually giving birth. it all felt so real, i felt my waters break, i felt and saw the babies head coming out and then my mum (who delivered him) passed him to me just as i felt like i was about to pass out and i opened my eyes just a split second before he opened his, i burst into tears. i woke up crying. my whole body ached like i had really experienced it all, i couldn't stop shaking. now every time i close my eyes to sleep i see him, opening his eyes. i hate dreams, especially ones that feel so real.
i cant quite decide if im doing well that im still keeping things together, or that im doing shit that i might break at any moment.
my period started on the 30th december and i had to start the pill the following day (bearing in mind i've never really got on with the pill and shouldn't even really tale it due to my migraines
)i had to then call the clinic when they opened on the 4th after xmas. i rang expecting to be told when my appointment would be to go in for my injector pack and my mock embryo transfer, instead i was told i'd receive my appointment in the post. well it finally arrived yesterday and we have our down regging appointment on 20th and first scan on the 4th.
well anyways aside from my boobs now bulging over my bra
, lovely side effect of the pill, i feel like i may burst in to tears at each and every second of the day. i feel sooooooo on edge all the time, and the smallest thing can tip me over the edge. went to asda the other night and saw the baby section of clothes, i had to turn straight away otherwise i would have blubbed everywhere.and then i suppose the last thing i needed was my labour dream. ive dreamt so many times about being pregnant but never about actually giving birth. it all felt so real, i felt my waters break, i felt and saw the babies head coming out and then my mum (who delivered him) passed him to me just as i felt like i was about to pass out and i opened my eyes just a split second before he opened his, i burst into tears. i woke up crying. my whole body ached like i had really experienced it all, i couldn't stop shaking. now every time i close my eyes to sleep i see him, opening his eyes. i hate dreams, especially ones that feel so real.
i cant quite decide if im doing well that im still keeping things together, or that im doing shit that i might break at any moment.
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